My daughter is 17 years old, and she loves Lady Gaga more than anything/anyone else. I remember she told me she liked Gaga back in 2008, and three years later, it hasn't faded even a little bit. Her walls are completely covered with her posters, she has lyrics and quotes by her even posted up. She owns all of her albums, DVDs, books, every Magazine she's ever been on, she has tons of Gaga shirts, bags, bracelets, you name it, she's got it. At first I didn't mind it, but now my daughters behavior is beginning to get out of control, and I really think Gaga is a little to blame for it. My daughter now has an obsession with weird clothing; most girls her age wear Abercrombie and Hollister, but she wears sky high heels with spikes all over them, peacock earrings, jumpsuits, whatever odd thing she can find, she wears, and even when people laugh at her and stare at her (She gets tons of stares and giggles) she doesn't care. She also dyes her hair repeatedly from brunette (her natural color) to blonde, to red, to black. If that doesn't sound too bad, my daughter also, unfortunately has found herself some punk *** boyfriend with long black hair, piercings, tattoos, and a Harley motorcycle; and she's also picked up a nasty habit. She no longer gives a damn what ANYONE thinks of her, and what anyone tells her to do, and she does drugs, drinks, you name it. I try to discipline her, but she just cusses. When I tell her she can't do something, she sneaks out.
The reason I think Gaga has a little to do with this behavior is because she's very provocative. I've seen many interviews and she's always talking about her drug use, sex, alcohol, and to be yourself and since my daughter looks up to her as a hero, she thinks it's okay if she does all this stuff. She's even said a few times that Gaga is her world, and that without Gaga "here to guide her" she would have died a long time ago. A few years ago, my daughter wouldn't be caught dead wearing what she does now, or with a boy who looks like the lead singer in a metal band. Besides him, she hangs out with tons of gay people and is the president of the Gay, Straight, Alliance club at her school. And also besides doing drugs and drinking, my daughter is also sexually active with both her boyfriend AND girls she apparently knows (I've found condoms in her room and I've heard from my other daughter that she has sex with girls). Once again, when I confronted my daughter about it, she told me to f*ck off, and that if I couldn't accept her for the way she was born, then she would move out.
She WAS bullied for many years up until she was in 9th or 10th grade and yes, it did hurt her, but I don't think dressing like a freak and drinking, drugs, and sex is going to help her cope. Her father (my ex husband) doesn't see the big deal about it. He supports her obsession by buying her Gaga concert tickets, autographed merchandise, he even took her to a CD signing and my daughter got to meet the woman and now she threatens to go live with her dad everytime I yell at her. How can I get her to calm down off this obsession? I'm afraid she's going to end up dead; she's already been brought home by the police several times, and always comes home high off of weed or cocaine. I cry, yell at her, beg her to stop, and she'll just say something like "Get over yourself, Joanne!" or will even hit me, kick me, or sometimes even bite me or scratch me with her fingernails. She's not afraid of me.|||"Besides him, she hangs out with tons of gay people and is the president of the Gay, Straight, Alliance club at her school."
Why is that bad?
Anyways, I believe that you just need to remind her that Lady Gaga encourages people to be themselves, and express who THEY are even if it's different. You have to ask her if the outfits, the boyfriend, and the drugs represent her?
Lady Gaga has said she does not want to encourage people to use drugs and that she regrets using them. PLUS she has said to wait until you're ready for sex.
Now, frankly, I doubt Lady Gaga is the contributer. Teenage girls change a lot when they reach this age, Gaga or no Gaga.|||Get out that belt. Whoop that booty.
Or just send her to the miltary
Report Abuse
|||I'd let her go live with her Dad, while she is living under your roof she has to live by your rules or move out|||send her to her dads house and he'l see what shes like when shes with you. maybe he doesn't know how bad she is at home.tell hem to sort her out. maybe even pretend to get a letter from lady gaga or something saying gaga doesn't want her to act like this because of her.
i love lady gaga but i would never do something like this|||Dear distressed mother,
It sounds like your daughter has gone through enough exclusion at school she is looking to feel accepted by the "in" crowd or at least someone who seem powerful and popular. She probably identify herself with Lady Gaga because LG seems to represent self empowerment and celebrate being different, which your daughter wants. Most teens need approval and a sense of belonging. So this is not completely strange. BUT it is VERY important that she gets primary approval and a sense of belonging from THE RIGHT PLACES, AND HOLLYWOOD IS NOT THE PLACE!
I'm not a parent, but a youth activity organizer at church. I cannot presume to be completely right. But it is with prayer in my heart that I write this, because young people today are so in need of direction and good fostering, because they tend to have so much temptation, peer pressure, bullying and endless distraction. They are truly very lonely and confused. Parents cannot assume that being kind to their children is enough. They must provide unconditional love enforced with a lot of wisdom. It's something parents must further study during their lifetime. We're simply not equipped to help children just as we are. SO all this to say: first consider modifying your relationship with your daughter by becoming a good listner(seriously try to sympathize and take it all in) and try to put yourself in her shoes about her problems. Put aside her current problems first, just catch up with some love giving and patience first. Try not to control the situation and just open your heart to her and ask her about her hurts and how's she's doing. This may take days...tell her you love her and seriously let that become the only thing you ever say in these days. Just wait until she opens herself up. It will take time because it sounds like your yelling at her has caused her to cut you off. So be patient and win back her trust until she's ready to pour out her heart to you. You may need some question leaders and help her verbalize her needs and current thoughts. Lead her to open up, and when she answers NEVER REBUKE OR JUDGE HER. Instead say something like "daugher I love you, while I think XXX(the action) was not the best thing you can do, I'm glad you can tell me about it. No matter what happened, you are still my daughter and I always love you more than I can be angry. I just want you to know. " And when you finally FEEL at peace and safe with each other, try to say a prayer together and ask God into your and her life. Because
as I said before it is important we get primary approval and a sense of belonging from THE RIGHT PLACES. And the right places are from our loving Heavenly Father who loves us unconditionally and is fully Holly, and our parent...and in time some great friends in God's family as well. You see, when a child does not believe in God and love Him, she/he will not imitate Christ to become a good and satisfied person, because people tend to create idols in their mind and start to imitate those. And those who imitate lady Gaga will act like her. Those who imitate Hitler will be like Hitler, and that's why the whole of Germany went crazy in the war...it all started with identifying and worshipping the false idol. I believe the best gift you can ever give your child is a chance to truly have relationship with Christ. If you love Him, your child will certainly be blessed.
Check out this very useful link you can use to understand your daughter:
http://www.christianity.com/christian%20鈥?/a>
Praying for you and hoping you both come to a place of love and belonging! God Bless!|||Well I have to admit I kind of do like lady gaga but she's a part of the Illuminati (Google it)... she does the signs in her music videos or in her songs. For example in her song "Born This Way" in the beginning of the song she says "You don't have to believe in HIM or capital H I M (HIM means His Infernal Majesty= Satan http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/His_Inferna鈥?/a> ) She's okay but I do not look up to her as a hero. Is she a good example? I say no. Teaching people the wrong things if you know what I mean. I'm getting off topic ;p
Your daughter has a lack of manners! Make her go and live with her Dad I know you love her but sometimes you can't change people.... It might her you.. but I think that's whats best for her.. She'll learn her lesson.
But Hey don't go too hard on blaming Gaga.... it could be her boyfriend she hangs out with or her friends.. talk to her father of what she's been doing and make her go and see a therapist to talk about her problems
Good Luck
xx|||The difference between Gaga and you Daughter is that Gaga USED to do drugs is now clean and sober so tell your daughter that I sure Miss.Gaga wouldn't approve of the person your daughter is .
Send to her father's he'll soon get the reality check he needs and come over to your side .
she needs to be put in a rehab program she has to stay because she not of age yet .|||OH, omg...My brother, seventeen had been very fond of her, but once I hit him, he just stoped it...and he could no longer to do anything outrageous things, i don't like Lady Gaga, she is fake and without morality , just a commercial product...,.For young people, she is a bad example|||That's horrible :( I'm so sorry for the way your daughter acts. I'd think of maybe calling a priest or religious leader to talk to her or maybe therapy, from what you say I don't think she'd go so if you can get the therapist to come to your place, I'd also lock the windows and nail them down so she can't run away and I'd forbid her to ever let her boyfriend to come to your place.
I really hope this helps|||Ignoring some things you mentioned that I think are quite good for her (being who she feels she is, even if it gets her funny looks, and leading the club, and just being proud of herself despite what people say), as a young woman who went through a similar stage myself only a few years ago (I had waist length, GORGEOUS blond hair and chopped it all off and dyed it pink), all I can say is... well, the harder you push against her, the harder she's going to push back. She's old enough to make her own choices, and if you REALLY want to send your message across, stop trying to be the nice Mom figure and kick her *** out!
Trust me, she doesn't think you would ever do it. So if she doesn't stop her behavior (the most extreme of it, of course. Can't expect her to suddenly do a 180), give her one last warning. If that doesn't work, call up her dad and arrange a date for her to move. While she's out at a party all night, pack up her room and get ready for the explosion when she gets home.
Otherwise, just deal with it and accept that she's no princess.
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